[BNP/E3, 49A3 – 42-42a]

There is a chocolate box…

O antenatal longing! O strange[1] city,

In[2] what river in what country within me

Art thou compassionate with an actual pity

For being but the dream I have of thee?

_______

In what external manner art thou in me?

What chance last this box in my soul’s seeing way?

Shall I obtain thee when at last I win me

From that of me that is but my decay?

_______

O incommensurate in being dreamed! O free

Of impossible things my heart contains

What mind blew thee never my sight, to school

Gay errs – suffering heart with[3] never pains?

_______

No matter… All things are[4] as vain as living…

Yet oh the horror if thee canst not be 

Real, real… If {…}

And life is all there is. Oh aging!

[42av]

It seems an old city and a Dutch city

And I love it for that with a fun love

Because I never saw Holland

{…}

_______

29-10-1913.

Speak not… Has she dreams

     What all things mean

This world’s shadow and shows

     A half-transparent screen

Are like a screen cast down…

What wave flows make her crown?… 

___

Utter no tears… She lies

     Spanned with |delight|

The blue fame of the skies

     Is as broken in her sight

And she sees[5] straight at the gap weather

What ever thing makes her eyes other?

_______

_______

What newer vision, o my brother

Makes her blue eyes[6] so other?

_______

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[1] strange /acute\
[2] In /By\
[3] with /in\
[4] are /last\
[5] sees /looks\
[6] eyes /sight\