[BNP/E3, 49A3 – 37-38]
My disease is that when with |silver| speech
The morn calls up the stream’s soul to its eyes,
And every tremulous wave towards us doth reach
Invisible hands that round me such are ties,[1]
My heart is never with the wave I see
My thought firm never o’er the stream I find,
Another this morn shameth within me
My cheeks pale but wish for another wind…
___
|The morn of all romantic hours and places,
The morn that shone in Putra’s real garden,
She that saw Orient loves dark far-off graces
With modesties {…} conscious of the random…|
Therefore is it that when I see the morn
My delight is a desolate unset
And I desire it as if I had it not
And my thought’s actual[2] other morn is e’en the best
[38r]
2.
Three maidens in the garden
Looking at senses the three
Their eyes are soft as pardon
Given to an enemy.
___
In the garden three unit maidens
Dream something at the sores…
And yet my sudden heart saddens
With what as it supposes
___
For why should I dream of this
Of maidens, gardens and flowers
As clouds that will shed showers
Lost Hope formed beginning
3/9/1913
________________________________________
I am the sky that loves me.
I am the ground I walk upon.
My sense of that[3] fight is never free
To take me where I have not gone.
___
The spirit universe’s deeps
Are of the same depth as my glance
A useless sky my cloud hard keeps,
What one is then
___
I am all, but not transparently
Knowing God a creation of mine
Gives me no less to fear and pine,
Being God raises not one for me.
My faith is useless as a fever
My burning sense of God all where
Stops not from grazing me my brian
Makes me not less to brave and waver…
|But[4] whereof this king is my
Let me hope though there’s no door in
There is no door in space.|
|Some day my soul will understand.
Somebody outside all dream of days.|
|Yet let me hope… This king in my head!
Ay, thou there is no door in space|
[1] Invisible hands that round me such are ties, /Inner hands that at our soul’s hands are prize/loosing my soul are wise…\\
[2] actual /unfound\
[3] that /highest\
[4] But /Yet\
