[BNP/E3, 49A3 – 29]

The Foreself

I had a self and life

Before this life and self…

When the moon makes woods rife

With possible fay or[1] elf,

There comes in me a dreaming

That is like a light gleaming

Somewhere in me away,

On seas that I have known

And placeless lands that own

Another kind of day.

_______

{…} as a blast

Fans into life[2] an ember,

My heart is[3] with a past

That I cannot remember.

And as the ember's glowing

Is not light[4] but fire's showing,

I waste the empty pelf

Of my mute sense of me…

As rain within the sea

I fade within myself

_______

There are mazes of I.

I am my unknown being.

I have, I know not why,

Another kind of seeing

(Other than this vain vision

That is my soul's division

From what is seeing[5] about)

Where to see is to know,

Where[6] life is faith, and woe

Fled by the hand of Doubt.

_______

My life has happy hours

'Tis when I forget[7] living;

And as the scent of flowers

Round flowers a flower‑soul weaving.

That is a corporate spirit,

From myself I inherit,

And have round me my soul as air[8]

A foreself and inself

Which is the being‑pelf

That I with God whole-share[9].

_______

_______

10-11/1/1913

_________________________________________________

Lean thy hand on my heart…

All life’s ache is for rest…

Let us see life pass by

Never ask[10] it How or Why…

Not even in thought or dream

Say not: this doth but seem

For what does it avail

To paid life truth or tale?

Raise not thine eyes to mine

Silence is our best shrine

And to let eyes to eyes

Would be to see cries

Latently wild conplain

† of this cannot pain…

|No… Let life fade or be

Vainly, wearily…|

 
[1] or /and\
[2] life /fire\ /glow\
[3] is /gleams\
[4] light /fire\
[5] seeing /sight\
[6] Where/ose\
[7] I forget /feel not\
[8] And have round me my soul as air /My soul's blood's {…}‑air\
[9] whole/do\-share /with God's loss I share\
[10] ask /wander\