[BNP/E3, 138 – 27-30]
1. Cover.
2. Title-Page.
3. Dedication.
4. Preface.
5. Index.
6. Press Notices.
7. Stories for the Drawing Room.
8. Stories for the Smoking Room.
9. Stories which may be told to be very carefully selected audiences, but which really ought never to have been printed.
Copyright in Great Britain, San Marino and Andorra.
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1.
STORIES
BY
EFBEEDEE PASHA
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2.
STORIES
AS TOLD AND RE-TOLD EVEN UNTO THE NTH
DEGREE WITH THAT VERVE, VIM, VIGOR AND
ESPRIT WHICH ONLY HE CAN
ACHIEVE
BY
EFBEEDEE PASHA
Author’s Motto:
Lorrrd, send us a guid conceit o’ oorrsels.
-------------------------------------------------------------
3.
TO MY TRIED AND VERY TRUE FRIEND
A. H. FRISBEE, ESQ.,
AT PRESENT OF THIS CITY
DO I DEDICATE THIS LITTLE BOOK
EFBEEDEE PASHA
LISBON, -------[1]
[28r]
6.
PRESS NOTICES
(anticipatory, but nevertheless carefully edited).
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“THE TIMES”:
“We are surprised that any publishing house of good repute have lent their to such a publication...................................................................... At the same time we note that the Times Book Club has, as a precautionary measure, given an order in advance for eleven and a half million copies for their subscribers.”
“THE SPORTING TIMES”:
“.............. It is unfortunate that the author has carefully omitted to give his real name and address, since we have on our staff several quite capable assassins.
...........................................................
...........................................................
“We failed to find a spark of either wit or humour in any of the stories in this work............................, besides which most, if not all, have already appeared in our columns.”
“MANCHESTER GUARDIAN”:
“.............. We should be belying our title and reputation were we to pass this book without comment, but at the same time we regret to say that it will probably command an extensive sale.
“Many of the stories are far too near the knuckle – and a very gamey knuckle at that.”
“MORNING POST”:
“While we admit that this little book amuses us, we unhesitatingly state that it is the general spirit of anti-Judaism which is peculiarly apparent in most of the stories that gives us most satisfaction.”
“WINNING POST”:
“Topole. Abseerlootly. It is most unfortunate that this gifted young author has not thought fit to be more explicit in the last section of his book, since we cannot understand any of the references which he makes.
“This little book should be in every gentleman’s library, alongside the works of Mr. John Milton, Mr. William Shakespeare and even Ruff’s “Guide to the Turf”, than which no higher praise can be given.
[29r]
(2)
“The first two names were given to us by our junior office boy and we are given to understand that they belong to authors of some distinction, now deceased.”
“THE CHURCH TIMES”:
“We have read this little book, but in the last section we find of the references a trifle obscure. It is a book which should be, and probably will be, in every gentleman’s library – preferably a drawer (locked).”
“THE QUEEN”:
“A book which no lady can be seen reading but which most of us would like to have a look at.”
“THE ATHENAEUM”:
“We have read this little book with considerable amusement, and, while we find the English quite good, on the whole we regret the author’s tendency to frequently split an infinitive. His spelling, as a whole, is fair, but on several occasions it is unparalleled.”
“BODMIN COURIER”:
“We have read this little book and parts of it have given us considerable amusement, but on the other hand it is most unfortunate that this young man has in parts reverted to the Scottish dialect to which he is painfully obviously an utter stranger. Otherwise we find the book not altogether unpleasing.”
“THE DUNDEE ADVERTISER”:
“We have read this little book and we realize that no one but a true-born Scot could possibly possess such a fund of wit and a mastery of the dialect.”
“GLASGOW HERALD”:
“.................................................................................................................. but still it made even us laugh”.
“PUNCH”:
“This gifted story-teller has lifted many of our best stories, but we forgive him for the sheer wit of his other stories, of which we can only say that we wish we had thought
[30r]
(3)
of them ourselves. If this young man, of whose name and address we are unfortunately in ignorance, would consider accepting a post with a really responsible paper at what we cheerfully admit would be to him a purely nominal salary, but at the same time is all that even a responsible paper can afford – say ten thousand pounds a year, paid quarterly in advance –, we should be glad to hear from him.
“SUNDAY SCHOOL MAGAZINE”:
“A copy of this little book was received, as usual, into our outer office for review. Attracted by an unusual commotion, accompanied by yells of laughter, we with difficulty rescued tattered fragments of the copy in question from our office boys. From perusal of such tattered fragments, we fear that much of this book is hardly fit pabulum for the young. At the same time, we should be glad to hear where and when complete copies of this little work can be procured.”
“BOSTON TRANSCRIPT”:
“PHILADELPHIA ADVERTISER”.
[1] [27V] “A Invenção do Dia Claro”.
