[BNP/E3, 78A – 35]
Documents of Mental Decadence.
Delirium.
Familiar Conversation.
Disappointment, my old friend,
I had forgot thou wert with me.
Forgive me. I did half pretend,
Deceiving ill my misery,
That thou hadst gone. Forgive me thou.
Thou old true friend, thou'rt with me now!
Despair, my old companion sure,
Thou too — though not forgotten quite —
Yet for a moment I had fewer
Thoughts of thee — |somewhat of| respite.
Entirely to forget thee were
Impossible. Friend, thou art here!
And thou, old comrade, Solitude,
Bare of affection and of hope,
Thou twin with me — I were quite[1] rude
Were I to omit by thee to stop
And play the game of cares and fears?...
Why come ye to shame me[2], oh tears?
Alexander Search
August 6 – 1908.
[1] I were quite /were I not\
[2] Why come ye to shame me /No more I have no terms.\