[BNP/E3, 78 – 85-86]
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Agony
Rage.
I feel a rage — ay, a rage!
At time that passes, passes away;
A thirst of life nought can assuage,
An anger that nothing can stay.
And every hour that passes by
And merges into night a day
Makes, when I think, my soul to cry:
“Torture eternal, torture without end!
All days pass, and not a deed!
A desire strong as a greed
By an ill of will — oh, misery! —
To be a dream of pain condemned!”
I feel a rage! ’tis to feel
Mystery and sadness at one time,
Till the maddened brain doth reel,
Looking on that bodiless curse,
The passing of the world, as one
Paralytic at a deed of blood
Which he hath no power to avert.
I feel a stranger before the sun,
A weeper before field and flood,
[86r]
Rage – 2.
A cynic before dirt,
A revolt before God.
Alexander Search
December 3rd. 1907.