[BNP/E3, 78A – 32-33]
Documents of Mental Decadence.
Be it so!
Be it so; we are sundered for ever -
I and life's happy and sane.
My nature and theirs did us sever;
Nought can unite us again.
Again? We were never unparted,
Differently destined and born -
They born to be light– and stout‑hearted,
I to be painèd and worn.
Be it so; we for ever are sundered!
What would the normal with me?
My own inner reason hath wondered
Trembling at its misery.
I give me all over to terror
All unto madness and woe;
I yield up my thoughts unto error.
'Twas to be so; be it so!
[33r]
Be it so – 2.
Of my thoughts I no longer am master,
Ceasing is now all control.
My mind doth decay: take your pasture
Ravings, ye worms of the soul!
Alexander Search
April 20th. 1908.